Prof. Quotes

Hugo Boschmann: "Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool."
Hugo: (holding up a piece of a smoker's lung) "I'm so glad somebody smoked and died so I could buy this! *assumes innocent, slightly defensive look* What? I didn't tell them to smoke!"
Hugo: "I sat at home and graded your lab exams.... and I started bawling. My wife asked me, 'Hugo, what is wrong?' and I said, 'No one knew what the function of the lateral line on a perch is!'"
Hugo: "For next five weeks in lab we will focus on one thing: piggy dissection. Now first before you cut up Piggy, you must name Piggy."
Hugo: "Dissection is not demolition!"
Hugo: (practically every week) "Who's ready for a quizzy?"

Jim Yoder: (every single time he finishes explaining something) "Nod your heads."
Jim: "Barium is the undertaker's element. Think about it." (and the entire class groans)
Jim: "Helium is the doctor's element. Think about it."
Jim: "Now we chemists of course forget that most people do not know the proper names for things. That's why whenever we have a headache we tell the drugstore clerk we want to buy some acetosalicylic acid."
Jim: "Now some of you in this class did not do well at all on these problems. That's why I wrote F U on your papers." *entire class looks at each other in stunned silence. Jim is oblivious. He explains that "f u" is some abbreviation for some chemical term. The entire class gives slightly stunned laughs. Jim has no idea what was so funny.*

I think all these science profs have spent waaay too time studying and teaching their respective subjects. Jim and Hugo have been teaching at Hesston for a combined total of about 70 years.