pressure

I have reached that point in my year where I need to know what I'm doing next year....and I still have no idea. It's starting to stress me out a bit. So this is a request for prayer and advice, if you have any.

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." - Kurt Vonnegut

This has always been a favorite quote of mine, because it kinda sums up a philosphy I've always had. Sure, there are times you need to cry and just get it all out. I like laughing though, if I can, because I tend to feel better afterwards. The past few days I've been feeling pretty disgusted and frustrated with everything. (Poor Darin....I kinda took a lot of it out on him). However, this constant state of frustration and stress was having a snowball effect to where every little thing bothered me. This has been one of those situations where crying isn't helping anymore. So last night I took a big step back from those emotions, chilled out, and relaxed some. Talking to Darin and praying also helped. Now I am ready to laugh, because I had gotten pretty tired of all that cleaning up afterwards :)

Ketchup

So what have I been doing with my life lately? (obviously, not blogging). Just a quick rundown, though anyone who reads this probably already knows. I am in my final semester at Hesston College where I work as an RA. I also work roughly 15 hours a week at Applebees in Newton. My life and school plans after Hesston are still pretty shadowy, though I have officially applied to WSU now (yay me). I'm still dating Darin Widrick (about 9 months into it now) and went up to northern New York to visit his family right around the week of New Years. (I was plauged by plane delays, but that may be another story for another time. Suffice it to say that if you have to sit in an airport for 7 hours, I do not recommend the Kansas City airport as the exciting venue for that adventure. I wouldn't even call it the 76th most exciting venue). That about sums up life right now. When I'm not in class, I'm working; when I'm not working, I'm doing hw; when I'm not doing hw, I spend time with my boy or my modlings and other friends. Sleep is overrated :)
I hope you all are having a wonderful 2010 so far!

I'm Back! (or trying to be)

Well, here I am.....writing on my blog again.....what a weird thing haha. I'm going to try to update this more. Even though nobody even reads it anymore most likely :).

So.....sitting here, listening to Relient K, trying out my new computer that I probably paid a little too much for (but I like it), I'm thinking about the fact that we are into a whole new year, a whole new decade. Wow. I have changed so much in the past 10 years. Heck, a lot of that change has even taken place in the past year. So for this first post, I'm reflecting on some learnings and changes (for better or for worse).

In the past year:
-I have learned a lot about relationships. Specifically, a relationship with a certain someone. Darin Bruce Widrick has been one of the most important people in my life this year, and I still don't quite know what to do with our relationship. But time and prayer will tell.
-I've learned that in some ways I compromise way more than I ever thought I would. Some of these compromises aren't a big deal. In others I know I need to start standing up for what's right more often.
-I've learned the satisfaction that comes from working hard and paying your own way.
-But I've also learned that money isn't everything. In my crazy busyness with jobs, I've let some relationships slip by. I hope to start working on those this semester.
-I've learned how to deal with stuff, like delayed flights and going with my boyfriend to check into the hospital when he had MRSA.

-I've learned that I have a long way to go, but that I'm a very lucky girl, with all the people who love me no matter what and would do anything to help me. My parents, Darin, and especially my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I would be lost without Him.

Anyway, there's a lovely disjointed post for you. I'll work on this organization thing later. Maybe tomorrow I'll give you a quick update on life in general :)